MOVING ON!!!!

Me and my stupid heart part 1?lolz

2008-06-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

ok..so its been a long time since ive been here on mah place..lolz.dami na nangyari..tlga palang bagay dito s blog ko ung moving on eh..hehehe..nakuha mo...i got hurt again ,i guess for the nth time na.hayyyy...why do we get stupid ba when we fall inlove?kaya ayoko ma inlove hay naku lam ko gasgas na yung linya na to,pero cant help it eh..pag tumama na pana nmi lecheng kupido we cant do anything na tlag a as in hopeless na tayo to the highest level.hayyyy...sometimes tlga someone will come into your life who will make you feel less empty,less sad but broken din at the end its either di kau pede dahil taken na or just purely friendshepay mo lang xa ng very hard:(hehehe or manlolokio lang ng malala.hay naku,bkit ba ganun ang life ang hirap humanap ng magmamahal sayo ng tunay.Minsan its hard to believe na talaga kung may love ba tlgang nag-eexist or its just a state of mind.nakakapagod din maghintay,nakakapagod magmahal,magmukhang tanga.Tas kung kelan naka move on ka na ng sobra saka pa darating ulit xa at hihingi ng second chance..heller..hayyyy.tas ito nmang tangang puso ko maaantig nnman,magmamahal nnman.kainis..pede bang maging numb minsan?I really hate how much i love this guy na,but i have to let him go ,thought it would be so easy but its hard pala,seeing him having someone new in his life,its like having tons of needles pinching on your heart more than a thousand times pa.it really hurt so much,as in!!!right now,honestly,,i just want to be happy and not think of anything else,coz i dont want to expect that his really changing for the better,i need to take it slow and study everything..as in everything lang..hahaha..hay naku

art

i feel so low today!

2008-02-24T17:32:00.000-08:00

long time huh?!

2008-01-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

The Perfect Woman

2008-01-16T15:08:00.000-08:00

just thought of sharing this story..its very realistic
the perfect woman
One Afternoon, according to an old Sufi tale, a man named Nasruddin was sitting in a cafe, drinking tea with a friend and talking about life and love. "How come you never got married, Nasruddin?" asked his friend at one point."Well," said Nasruddin, "to tell you the truth, I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo, I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, with eyes like dark olives, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no interests in common. One woman after another would seem just right, but there would be always something missing. The one day, I met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had everything in common. In fact, she was perfect.""Well," said Nasruddin's friend, "what happened? Why didn't you marry her?"Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively. "Well," he replied. "It's a sad thing; seems she was looking for the perfect man."

Even Now

2007-12-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

Even Now... when i receieved an email from my manager sending me the lyrics of the song "even now" which is recently revived by niña.I just dont mind it.But when i was heading home i heared the song on the radio ,i found myself listening to the music deeply specially the lyrics of the song..it kinda remind me of someone..someone that im still trying to forget until now.I cant helped but wonder does he think of me?.the way manilow or niña think about of that person on the song?though he have his new girl now?does he love me like that?theres allot of questions that are unanswered still up to now..guess thats the prob with unfinished business with someone that mean so much for you,but your just too afraid to let them know.To face the truth.I honestly think before that having someone beside you is just like nothing..i mean like playing i guess,or having someone you could talk to,....well yes..i just really wanted someone to talk to,to be there beside me...to love me ..and care for me..but because of my stupidity it all comes to an end....thats why even now..im still stuck in the middle of nowhere trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart...even now...

Even Now

When there's someone else who cares

When there's someone home who's

waiting just for me

Even now I think about you as I'm

climbing up the stairs

And I wonder what to do so she

won't see

That even now

When I know it wasn't right

And I found a better life than what

we had

Even now I wakeup crying in the

middle of the night

And I can't believe it still could

hurt so bad

Even now when I have come so far

I wonder where you are

I wonder why it's still so hard

without you

Even now when I come shining

through

I swear I think of you

And how I wish you knew

Even now

When I never hear your name

And the world has changed so much

since you been gone

Even now I still remember and the

feeling's still the same

And the pain inside of me goes on

and onEven now

Even now when I have come so far

I wonder where you are

I wonder why it's still so hard

without you

Even now when I come shining through

I swear

I think of youAnd God

I wish you knewSome how

Even now

Somewhere Down The Road

2007-12-22T09:02:00.000-08:00

somewhere down the road i wish we will see each other soon...when everything is right already.always take care of yourself baby

Somewhere Down The Road

We had the right love

At the wrong timeGuess I always knew inside

I wouldn't have you for a long time

Those dreams of yours

Are shining on distant shores

And if they're calling you away

I have no right to make you stay

But somewhere down the road

Our roads are gonna cross again

It doesn't really matter when

But somewhere down the road

I know that heart of yours

Will come to see

That you belong with me

Sometimes good-byes are not forever

It doesn't matter if you're gone

I still believe in us together

I understand more than you think I can

You have to go out on your own

So you can find your way back home

And somewhere down the road

Our roads are gonna cross again

It doesn't really matter when

But somewhere down the road

I know that heart of yours

Will come to see

That you belong with me

Letting go is just another way to say

I'll always love you so

We had the right

loveAt the

wrong timeMaybe we've only just

begunMaybe the best is

yet to come'Cause

Somewhere down the roadOur

roads are gonna cross again

It doesn't really matter when

But somewhere down the road

I know that heart of yoursWill come to see

That you belongWith me

So Frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

So Frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well seriously,it is really so frustrating how my day goes like hell last friday..guess what???yeah your right we dont have any sale last friday me and my team.i really burst out last friday on my team.i feel like i was a dragon that is unleashed from the deeper part of the world..lolz..i cussed allot which is something imnot proud of.well if my parents would hear me saying those bad words gosh...im sure i will not be allowed to go out (though im not really into bar hopping or a gimekera dudette)guess maybe no tvs..or music..grrrrrrrrrrrr..well as of now,,,guess im cooling off things on regards to my work..i dunno..maybe ive learned my lessons well before,dont want it to get defeat by this person.hayyyyyyyy...cant really think of anything else that will cool me down today,im still affected by my failure last fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyy...gosh is there anybody out there who can help me and give advice?

moving on from my love

2007-10-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

I wish I could have seen our future
But I guess I caused so much burden
Time will soon move on and memories of you will dissapear
And I'll learn to smile again
I won't fear standing alone on that empty road
Maybe I'll find someone to love a new
This past year I can only see it in the past
Now I'm passing by the fast lane
Never looking back, but the memories will slowly fade
And my eyes dry from the tears I've cried
For so long I will try to move on
Everything I've lost, is now to regain
And I know it was our last good-bye

call center life

2007-10-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

call center life???
allot of people think that we have an easy job...well im tellin you now....WE DONT!!!!so shut the fuck up if your freakin tellin everybody that we have a very lame job...but i know your just envy..hahahahwell anyways honestly,i didnt know that ill stay longer with this company that im employed in right now.coz i really dont know anythingabout call center jobs,whether its an outbound or inbound i dont even know the difference between outbound and inbound?lolz...all i know is i badly needed a jobcoz i dont wanna belong in the assoc. they call "PAL!!! AS IN PALAMUNIN!!!"hahaha..its funny but its true.some call centers are so much pickywhen it comes to grammar etc...coz honestly even your own clients have wrong grammar and dont know how to spell the words correctly that is very weired..lolz...one of the good things about working in this fab industry isthat youll be able to work with young professional people,you get a higher compensation plus an incentive if your just going to work hard for it..though its really tiring and allot of pressure everyday.,..ofcourse there is really pressure in any type of work i guess its just up to youon how you will handle those.

my first team...

2007-10-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

this is my first team,ever since i become a team leader...cant forget this team..they made me cry..lolz....

The more you lie, the more you have to lie.

2007-10-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

Ever told a lie which caused you to lie more? just to cover up that one little lie?yeah i did lie ..big time...!!!! guess this is how guilty i am to that person.but i guess everybody body lie,its just depends upon thescenario that they are in at that moment,but to cut that short it still bad to lie..i know..i know...i am bad cause i lie to this person,but i guess im not going to be a better person that i am right now if i didnt commit a mistake.His right,i really have to lie more to cover up the lies that i created,how stupid,if my parents would found out about this..awwwgosh...im sure my father wont forgive me about lieng since he taught me not to..but damn.....i did!!!!i am really so regret because i have hurt his feelings ..thats how stupid i am.....what you think?how about you,have u ever lie?

Am I JuSt aN OpTiOn?

2007-10-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

So sad but sometimes I really have toaccept the things I can't accept. Tobe strong when all else fails! Wait until it's too late! To make other's believe that I am happy, but Im really not! When every night Imthinking if I can still do it ALONE and all by myself!?! Im afraid to loose the feeling I want to keep for a lifetime. The feeling of loving someone but I can't be with, Imafraid I can't stay the same. Im afraid, Im getting used to it. I was born to be loved and not just to be set aside like this! Yes, I can live alone but not in this kind of way.When Im always controlling my tears to fall at night, that's very hard to do. I know where I stand and all I cando is to be true to myself. Even tho'Im happy with my friends; its still a different feeling when Im with him!Maybe, this is just the way we want itto be, and I dont have any more choices!
BEST lesson Ive learned and the BOTTOM line was:Never let someone be your priority,while allowing yourself to be justtheir option! SAD but TRUE.

nOt UnTiL....

2007-10-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

ive never known such emotion

that feeling of emptiness

not until that moment

when u nod your headin

response to my question,

"is this breaking up"?

ive never known such emotion

that feeling of sadness

not until that day

when i finally realize

i no longer have you in my life

ive never known such emotion

that uncomfortable feeling of pain

that hurt that seems to never go away

that pain somehow makes

it even hard to breath.not until that moment..

not until that day..not until.....

you said goodbye!

Until I get over you

2007-10-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

im wondering kailan ko kaya to magagawa.. i hope soonnnnnnnnnnnn

until i get over u…

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

[Chorus]
The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,
'til I get over you

[Verse 2]
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

[Bridge]
When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

Directory of Relationships Blogs

broken hearted me

2007-10-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

are you the one whom he calls when he is bored? because you make him laugh. are you the one whom he calls when he is feeling down? because you are willing to lend an ear and be a friend? are you the one with whom he spends time with between girlfriends, before he finds the one? the one whom he keeps around for the meantime? he doesn't have to wine and dine you because you already know him and he doesn't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. and although you would never say it, it hurts you to know that despite all your good points and all the fun you two have, he doesn't think that you're good enough to spend any real time with. sure, it's mostly your fault, because you don't have to give in to his needs. you can play hard-to-get like the rest of them do. but you both know that you probably won't be able to pull it off. maybe you're too short, or a little overweight. whatever the reason, somehow life has given you a lot of really great qualities but left out the ones that men want in a woman. so you remain the forever friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover...while he goes on searching for his goddess who will somehow be everything he ever wanted in a woman.you don't captivate him with your beauty. mainly, you blend in with the crowd. you don't want to be the center of attention and you don't turn the heads of everyone in a room. but you want to turn someone's head. you know that you want to be special to someone too.you have feelings. you have a heart. in fact, you probably have a bigger heart than any woman he has ever known because you have the front row seat to The Mess That Is His Life and you still like him anyway. you obviously see something worthwhile and redeeming in him because although he has given you nothing, and there's absolutely no reason for you to still be around...you are still there for him.this post isn't only for the meantime girls out there. i'm pretty sure that there are some whom we may call meantime guys. i guess that at some point in our lives, some of us have been that kind of person to someone. it's not easy, you will get your heart broken little by little, over and over again. but still, you keep on going, hoping that one of these days, that person will see you in a different light. but what if that time never comes? would you settle for being that person who is just there...for the meantime?

are you a meantime girl?

2007-10-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

Here's for the LONELY

2007-10-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

How could you be so far when you're so near?
But how will you get near when you can’t master the fear?
How will you say "No", when your goal is to say "Yes"?
But will you say, "Yes" if it's not for the best?
How will you stop when you hate ending this?
But is there a need to end it if you’ve got everything to risk?

How will you go on if one false move could end it all?
But will you think about the end if you’ve reached your goal?
How will you give in if you can’t trust?
But why you should trust if you couldn’t see through the dust?
How will you let go, if you all want is to hold on,
But why must you hold on if you’ve got no reason?

How will you fall in love without a single stumble?
But is there a need to stumble when all you have to do is fall?
How will you fall in love when you’re afraid to try?
But why you should try if you know that you’ll just cry?
How will I say "I love you" when I can’t find any reason,
But will reasons be important if to you my heart
belongs???

I Can Tell

2007-10-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

The kisses that you used to give,
Are the sweet sweet kisses I will miss,
You don't love me anymore and I can tell..

Another boy has made you change,
When I'm around you're acting strange,
You don't love me anymore,
and I can tell..

Maybe you can't bring yourself to tell me about him,
After thinking about the love we used to share,
when you hold me, I know your're thinking of him..
No you don't love me anymore,
I can tell,
And I can tell..

Perfection In My Eyes

2007-10-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
And for us to be together,to never be apart.
No one else in the world can even compare,
You're perfect & so is this love that we share.
We have so much more thanI ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.
I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live.In your eyes I see our present,
our future and past,By the way you look at meI know we will last.
I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.
I thought love was just a mirage of the mind, It's an illusion, it's fake, impossible to find.
But the day I met you, I began to see,
That love is real, and exists in me.

A Lesson

2007-09-06T14:02:00.000-07:00

A Lesson

I've learned a lot of lessonsIn the short time I have livedI've learned how to appreciateAnd I've learned how to give.

But in these past few monthsThere's two I'll remember mostI've learned how to loveAnd I've learned to let go.

You entered my life with such a forceAnd left it with one as strongAnd though we tried to make it lastWe both knew it wouldn't be long.

I lie at night and think aboutHow I'm the one to blame.If only I would have trusted you,I could have missed this pain.

And so I spent each day of my lifeWith my heart in piecesAnd when I thought it could never be cured,Something happened; I expected it least.

I guess my soul was all cried out,And it was tired of being used.And even though I know I'm guilty,I was tired of being accused.

And so I've learned to end thisWithout an urge to cryThese are my final words to you,"I love you and goodbye."

Until I get over you

2007-08-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

i love this song so much so heart breaking

until i get over u…

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember
whenI close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

[Chorus]The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,'til I get over you

[Verse 2]
Walked through the park,
in the evening airI heard a voice and
I thought you were thereI run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhereThey say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterdayJust to know that
I could have you here

[Bridge]When will this river of tears stop fallin
'Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin
'I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

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2007-08-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

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I DON'T WANNA LOOSE YOU

2007-08-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

i really love this song sooooooooo much...it reminds me that someone who ve been a part of my life for a shortwhile....:(

I DON'T WANNA LOOSE YOU by Gloria Estefan

Sometimes it's hard to make things clear or
know when to face the truth and i know
when the moment is here i'll open my heart and show you inside my love has no pride.
I feel with you i've got nothing to hide so open your eyes
and see who i am and not who you want for me to be I am only myself,
myself I don't wanna lose you now we're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now or ever.
'Cause baby i've finally found the courage to stand my ground but if you want me,
I'll be around forever. We all make mistakes we all lose our way
but we stood the test of time and I hope that's the way it will stay.
It's all up to you, to tell me to go 'cause it won't be me to walk away
when you're all that I know and I know that
I don't wanna lose you now we're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now or ever 'cause baby
I've finally found the courage to stand my ground but if you want me,
I'll be around forever ...

baby what took you so long?

2007-08-22T05:42:00.000-07:00

just got this poem i really like it..:)

Baby, What Took You So Long?~

When I was youngand so naiveI prayed for you and me
But you never cameMy love was in songAnd......
.what I want to know nowBaby.......what took you so long?
What took you so long,were your looking for me?
Were you at every corner...behind every tree?Were you biding for us?Were you busy preparing?Were there obligations to carry?
What took you so long?
What took you so long,were you looking for me?
Did you feel me in your sleep...did you see me in your dreams?
Were you in my world?Could it possibly be?Did you never give up on finding me?
What took you so long?
The years, they were hardwithout you by my sideI prayed for you and me
But you never cameMy love was in songAnd.......what I want to know nowBaby.......what took you so long?

Our Love Will Last Forever

2007-08-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

Our Love Will Last Forever

Honey,"Hi, Baby, I love you,"that's always how we start.Those five simple words always bring a smile to my face and song to my heart.I am just writing this here because it's the only way I know that I can shout to the world I love you!The day you came into my life a miracle happened.One minute I was resigned to the fact that love was a part of my past,something although painful to think about,was nothing more than mere memory.And then there you were.I’ve never had a hard time saying what I feel but that seems to have changed ever since I met you.Even now,I’m finding it difficult to write down everything you have given me.How can I begin to write down the love I have known?So let me describe the gift you have given me,because mere words aren’t enough. I know that in every age,in every place,love is certain to be there,so there’s no reason to tremble because life on earth is but one brief moment,a moment truly worth living for.I have found that out by being with you.Having you in my life brings me more happiness than a lifetime could bring.You've touched my life so deeply in your own way that you’ve helped me laugh and become my own self.I feel like I've searched my whole life and I have finally found the one meant for me.Meeting you has made me realize how precious and fragile love can be.I would give up everything for one moment with you;for one moment is better than a life time of never knowing you.I can’t imagine life without your touch and warm embrace but I know that some day the miles between us won't matter because one day I'll meet you.Until then I want you to know that what lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. I know that life seems to be a struggle after another.Our scenery is constantly changing,but there is one thing that remains constant…my love for you. I’ve always have faith in you so be the best that you can and believe in your dreams as I believe in you…I love you with all that I am and all that I ever will be.You opened my heart in ways it had never been opened before.You awakened a part of me that had lay dormant all of life.Although I had loved and been loved before,never had it been so intense and so deep as what we feel for each other.This much I am sure of,we share a love so true that I have never before experienced the true joy of complete empowering,soul-felt love as we share.The comfort I feel in knowing that we can disagree,we can get through the roughest of times and still know in our hearts that we can't live without each other is what makes it even more special.Baby,you matter to me and I know in my heart I truly matter to you.I am secure in your love as I know you are in mine. What more could we ask for than to be truly loved as we do each other and have found the one we have both been searching for all our lives.Love, promise me that you will always be mine.I know in my heart our love will never die.So,to all you out there who read this letter of love,if you've found it, hold it tight, cherish, respect,and be kind to each other.This kind of love is rare and special beyond words.For those of you haven't found it yet,don't give up and settle...they're out there and if you're lucky, someday you will know what these words I've just written mean...you'll feel them in your heart.So,in closing,let me shout this to all...,"I LOVE YOU,BABY,WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL!"

2007-08-22T05:37:00.000-07:00

Ten Ways To Tell If Your Love Is Real
1। You feel good। A good relationship makes you feel good about yourself। 2। You look forward to spending time with your partner। You don't need to be with other people or go to events to avoid being alone together। You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet. 3. You respect your partner. If you find that you're always talking about yourself, you're not focused on your partner or the relationship. 4. You're interested in what your partner thinks.You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. It's OK if he or she disagrees with you. 5. You accept your partner's quirks. Everyone hasthem. Even you! If your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape. If they really bother you, you should look more closely at the relationship.6. You're able to work through your problems. It's natural to have some bumps in the relationship road to true bliss. People in healthy relationships see disagreementsas a chance to learn more about their partner. However, if you're creating problems, or if you think every fight is the "big one" leading to a breakup, you should probably rethink your relationship. 7. You feel safe. You're not afraid of losing your partner. Because you trust him honestly.8. You can't explain why you're together. Manypeople coordinate their lives so that they have to be together. But ask यौर्सेल्फ़ if you're together because you truly want to be. If the answer is "yes, " then you'll probably stay together. If it's "no, " you're bound to have problems — if you haven't already. 9. You don't compare your partner to others. There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter or more athletic than your partner, but you don't care because you only want to be with him or her. 10. And the last,,,whatever your partner had in his/her past,,,youre willing to accept because you love her/him with all of your heart.

why its so hard to love youuuuuuuuuuuu???!!!

2007-08-20T05:43:00.000-07:00

For the past two months, I’ve really enjoyed your company.During those times I have realized you have been a major part of my life.You have showed me in a way how to love a person like you.Someone ambitious, someone who knows what thy want, and someone who is a true friendYou are the one that has made me feel most important.You have made me feel like somebody.You have done more for me than you’ll ever know.You are someone very special to me.All my life I’ve been waiting for someone like you.Someone who I’ll never forgetYou are someone who is a part of me. No matter where you are, no matter where you go. You will always be a part of me.Morning's just a moment away And I'm without you once again You laughed at me You said you never needed me I wonder if you need me now So many dreams that flew away So many words we didn't say Two people lost in a storm Where did we go? Where'd we go? We lost what we both had found You know we let each other down But then most of all I do love you Still We played the game that people played We made or mistakes along the way Somehow I know deep in my heart You needed me 'Cause I needed you so desperately We were too blind to see But then most of all I do love you Still baby This song says it all Perhaps more than words ever can I love you

i never knew until that moment how bad it hurts to lose something you never really had.

2007-08-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

I live everyday, with a broken heart. Not because I need you, but I always wanted you in my life. I always believed that I had time to make my mistakes right. But that was not the facts. I hope one day you will forgive me, for the hurt I caused. You were the the right person, at the wrong time. If you ever take the time to think back, I did what I did for a reason. Can't give you all the details, but I did push you away. There was always a method to my madness! No games here. Everything has always been from the heart or the sleeve, which way you would like to view it. You were the one, I truly believed in you. I let down my guard, because I trusted you with my heart. I let you down, I known, and you reciprocated not the way I hoped. Wish you the best to you and yours. I love you, know that always. Time to let you go……
You know what? baby ,I thought it would be easier now that you're gone, but it's not. It seems to be making everything harder and I don't get that as I lived a lot of years alone before I knew you. I feel incomplete, off kilter, etc. Who knew something so bad could be so good for me. I think I made a mistake in letting you go but we can't turn back. I just have a find a way to move forward alone.
this is really crazy,well guess i must be really crazy,coz i never really expected to fall so deep for you,but it happend and i did! i hate this feeling,i hate having feelings for you,i hate hearing the sound of voice that ive been missing all along,longing to hear it,i hate it when my phone rings and found it was not you calling,i hate checking my emails everyday just to be disappointed not seeing any emails from you everyday..i feel like im going out of my mind everyday.dunno how long should i wear this mask,it is really so hard to pretend that im happy and tottally moved on from what happened.But everytime i try to forget about you and not think of you,damn..baby i always go back to first step again….why it should be this way?why cant i forget about you?guess because of that one chance that i slip away just like that,of not seeing you in person,saying how sorry i am for hurting you,for lieing,for loving you,and for all the crazy things that ive done.
Maybe your ryt ,baby. I am really coward and this is really where am good at ,to hide at my friends and chat online with strangers and make them fall for me and lie.But i never did that to anyone,your accussing me of something that im not used to in doing.Yeah i know,i fooled you,but the story ends to you,see baby,if i am really that bad i should have not admit it to you,i should have demand allot of material things to you,but I NEVER DID!!! i was just asking for another chance,im not trying to be a intruder to your relationship with your new girl now,though it hurts me,im happy for you,no matter how my friends tried to convince me to forget all about you coz of all the bad things youve called me.I still feel the same way.
Gosh!!!! i hate this,i hate myself,maybe because im just too afraid if ever you wouldnt like me,that you wouldnt feel the same way.I was too afraid of everything and im not ready for anything,for any commitment,i dont like being confronted specially by you.I always got my tongue tied up whenever im talking to you,guess i dont want to be near beside you,coz if i do ill just be submissive and weak…i hate that.!!! i dont want to be weak,i want to be strong,i dont want to be under your power or any mans power!!! but….with you now…i feel like i want to take back those words again….coz you changed me.I just hope in time youll forgive me and maybe talk to me..lol!..i dont know if ever youll have a chance to read this blog…maybe if you research again about me..lol! but if ever..you know who you are

about me:)

2007-08-20T05:10:00.000-07:00

Well, let me start this blog by intruducing myself im mysterious(not a real name ofcourse) i dunno is just that i dont want to be known here hahahaa! i just wanted to keep myself mysterious obviously thats why i chosed that code name...lol! Guess im here to use this site as an outlet ,well that is most people do thats why they are here blogging about their everryday activity coz nobody reads it anyway except for their friends and family coz no one really cares about your daily routine except for a stalker..hehehe.
am a girl hopelessly in love with happy endings…I believe in the truth behind the lies. I believe in love at first sight. Love….I believe in Love. I trust the awkwardness that binds us…the tangled fingers, hair-tickles, and hip starings. I believe in hushed voices and silent conversation. I understand the hopeless romantics and trust the butterflies in my stomach.I believe in first kisses and ashen promises.I trust the searing of the memories. I trust in the sand beneath my toes. I believe in the summer heat and holding hands in the city streets. I believe in kissing the city lights and promising forever. I trust in the still poison and what you called that yearning. (The best secrets I ever kept were yours…lol!) I remember your touch and I trust in the dull aching that you left me(well i guess that belongs to that certain person that im longing to see). I trust in the fire in your eyes, the one that kept us burning, the one that made me feel alive. I believe in never saying sorry…I trust in ‘til death do us part’. I have Loved selflessly and it is because of you(not really you..lol!). I have loved you and I will never forget my friend, you will never get to far from me…You were right. I don’t know if life is greater than death. But love was more than either.
Maybe if you ever going to follow my blog youll find out the story behind those words!!honestly i really dont think you would belive it..hahaha..you might think im crazy and stuff coz even me until now still thinbking of what the F*** have i done,and what the hell am i thinking not knowing that ill be hurting two precious people wholl be part of my life ..temporarily..yes temporarily..sad to say but have leave me a lingering memory and a lesson to be learned for the rest of my life.